$5 today locks 1 of 500 spots. $15 charges only when bars ship in December 2026. Total $20 for a pack of 5 ($4/bar) — half retail.

Full refund, automatic. If we don't ship to you in December 2026, your $5 is refunded. You don't pay the $15 balance. No tickets, no hold music. Done.

Yes. Full refund any time before bars ship. Email hello@chocthemonkey.com with your order number and we refund instantly.

Real dark chocolate (ethically-sourced cocoa, cocoa butter), 200mg natural caffeine from green coffee, 100mg L-theanine, 5g cane sugar, sea salt, vanilla. Final lab panel published before your card is charged the balance.

It's the dose that actually moves a workout, about a strong cup of coffee. Paired with 100mg of L-theanine to keep the focus clean instead of jittery.

December 2026. First production run. We send monthly notes from production so you know exactly where your bars are.

It's a chocolate bar with caffeine. About 110 calories, 5g sugar. No sugar alcohols, no artificial sweeteners, no seed oils, no synthetic caffeine. Designed to taste great and do the job.

Because we wanted a chocolate bar that tastes good and helps us train hard. So we made one. 200mg clean caffeine, real cocoa, eat it on the way in.

Then we don't manufacture and every pre-order auto-refunds. The economics only work at 500.

A pre-workout is a habit, not a one-off. 5 bars covers a couple weeks of normal training. It's also the smallest unit our manufacturer will run profitably for the first batch.

The day your bars actually ship in December 2026. We notify you 7+ days before so you can cancel for any reason and get a full refund of the $5.

First run is one chocolate flavor. If it sells out we're already drafting round 2. Pre-order customers vote on flavor first.

hello@chocthemonkey.com — a real human reads it.